Fondue for Four
by ConvolutedMemories
Summary: Fondue for Two with Faberrittana.What more can one ask for?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Since I got such amazing reviews from my last story(_Parental Control_), I decided to make a tiny sequel to it. I present_, Fondue for Four_ as my gift to you good people.**

**I own nothing, literally.**

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><p>One hour before Showtime..<p>

"Britt, everything is set up whenever you're ready to go," Santana says as she finishes setting the table.

"Thanks San! Quinn said she'll be over in fifteen. What about Rachel?"

"I've got it covered. I'm going over there to get her in a bit."

"Cool." Brittany makes her way out of the bathroom and over to her vanity table.

Santana couldn't help but take in the sight of her freshly showered girlfriend. It always intoxicated her and like a drug, she needed her fix. "Britt, I was thinking maybe we can get some sweet lady kisses in before the show." Santana says as she walks up behind the blonde and places a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Quinn will be here any minute now."

"So? She'll just have to wait outside." Santana places another small kiss on Brittany's neck this time. "Please?"

"We can't Santana," Brittany sighs. "Look, I promise I'll make it up to you after the show."

Santana loosens the towel that is wrapped firmly around Brittany's body. "Come on, It'll be quick," she says as she admires her girlfriend's now very naked figure. She reaches around and cups one of her breasts.

A soft moan escapes Brittany's lips."We can't San," she breaths.

"Come on, you know you want to."

As soon as Brittany is about to give in, the door opens and Quinn walks in.

"Are you guys serious? This is what, the fourth time this month? Do you not know how to lock doors or something?" Quinn is standing in the entrance of the door, her arms folded and her eyebrow raised.

"Do you not know how to fucking knock, Cockblock? Or just turn around and act like you didn't see anything?" Santana replies now royally pissed.

Brittany pushes from out of Santana's embrace and goes to get dressed. "Hey Quinn!" She greets. "Do you want to help me with my hair and makeup?"

"Sure."

"San, you go get um, some uh, berries! So we can get this show started."

"Whatever," Santana groans. "But we are finishing this tonight," she points out as she leaves to go get their second guest.

"Why do you need berries for the show?"

"They're for um, to make berry facials! Yea that's it."

"Oh cool," Quinn replies, oblivious as to what will actually unfold for her this evening. Quinn is in for an awesome surprise!

Thirty minutes later and it's Showtime!

*_Fondue for Two! Fondue for Two! That's some hot dish! Fondue for Two!*_

"Hello I'm Brittany S. Pierce and welcome to another episode of Fondue for Two. This week we have a bacon fondue for our very special guest, Quinn Fabray. It's not really a bacon fondue but just a pot full of bacon."

"Delicious," Quinn adds.

"So if you didn't know, Quinn was my father's choice on Parental Control and was in the final two with Santana. I didn't pick her but we became good friends after the show and now San and I are helping her find love."

Quinn almost spits out her bacon, almost. "What? Brittany you told me that we were going to discuss hair and makeup tips and eat bacon."

"Yea well we fooled you Lucy."

"Please don't call me that."

"Anyway, Santana is on her way over here with a friend of ours that we think you'll like."

"That won't be necessary. I like being single."

"Don't be silly Quinn. I see how you look at Santana and I when we do basically anything together."

"That's because you do basically anything in front of me."

"Before they arrive, why don't you tell the viewers what you like in a girl."

"I'm not doing this Brittany."

Brittany's smile falters a bit. "You know, bacon is one of Lord Tubbington's favourite treats. Maybe I should let him have the bacon fondue for dinner."

"No," Quinn gasps. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me Quinn."

"I'm starting to think that you are the true evil mastermind in this relationship and Santana is just your whipped little puppy."

Brittany turns to the camera and smiles. "I'm not going to confirm or deny that alligator."

"You mean allegation right?"

"That's what I said. So answer the question."

"Fine. What I look for in a girl is-"

Before Quinn finishes her sentence, they hear a thud and a scream from out in the hallway.

"Ouch! Berry you did not just fucking bite me!"

"Santana I refuse to be treated like some piece of meat! You cannot come into my home, throw a bag over my head and shove me into the backseat of your car and expect me to be okay with it!"

"Oh it seems like our other guest has arrived!" Brittany smiles.

The door opens and Santana walks in, pulling Rachel along.

"Everybody please welcome Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry to the show."

Santana makes her way over to her seat. "Hey Britt-Britt, Quinn."

Quinn just glares at her.

"Britt I assume you already told Quinn about what we actually have planned for tonight?"

"Yes and she's going to be a good sport about it if she doesn't want anything bad to happen to her beloved bacon."

"If someone does not tell me what is going on this instant, I'm blowing my rape whistle!" Rachel demands but smiles at the camera after.

"Oh right, I'm sorry Rachel, where are my manners?" Brittany apologizes. "Rachel I would like you to meet Quinn Fabray and Quinn, this is Rachel Berry."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Quinn Fabray but I am still bemused as to why Santana dragged me kicking and screaming over here."

"Well we are going to play some games and we wanted a fourth player."

"And there were no other means of inviting me over? like making a phone call and letting me come here by my free will?"

Santana rolls her eyes. "You're always complaining Man Hands."

Rachel looks from Brittany to Santana and her eyes land on Quinn, hoping to get some answers.

"Don't look at me," Quinn replies as she puts another strip of bacon in her mouth. "I only came for the goods."

"Just relax Berry, we are all here to have fun." Santana smirks.

"I was already having fun Santana. I was in the middle of my one woman rendition of the Wizard of Oz when-"

"Rachel, the show is only an hour long and I can't afford for you to take up most of it with your ridiculously long bedtime stories."

"What are you talking about Brittany? What bedtime stories?"

"She means your long ass, boring rants about absolutely nothing," Santana replies.

"Yea, I assumed they were bedtime stories since they always put me to sleep."

Rachel folds her arms and frowns. "I don't have to put up with this you know. I can always leave."

"I'd like to see you try Yentl," Santana scoffs.

"So let's get back to business guys. What do we have in store for our viewers tonight Santana?"

"Well Britt, we'll first start off with some juicy gossip, then go into a little game with our special guests and finally answer some viewer mail."

"Is that a pot full of bacon?" Rachel interrupts, pointing to the pot Quinn is obviously guarding.

"Why yes it is. Feel free to eat as much as you like."

"I'm a vegan."

Brittany blinks and smiles. "Right so let's start the show off with some gossip!"

"Me first!" Santana grins. "I heard that a certain ex-warbler was caught locking lips with some tranny at Scandals, the gay bar over at West Lima."

"What? That is not true Santana! Blaine would never do that to Kurt!"

"I didn't say it was Blaine, Hobbit."

"Then who else could it be? Blaine is the only person-"

"Shut the fuck up Berry!"

"Santana, Kurt is my best gay friend and I'm not going to just sit here and watch you ruin his relationship with those nasty rumours!"

"Bitch if you open your mouth one more time, I will ends you."

"Why don't we move on to the next juicy gossip!" Brittany interjects. "Rumour has it that two of Coach Sylvester's top Cheerios do the nasty in her office after cheerleading practice."

"Britt, that's us."

"That's why I can confirm this as 100% true."

"Next rumour," Santana continues. "Legitimate sources have confirmed that Mc Kinley High's loveable football coach whose last name rhymes with yeast, turns into a low end call girl by night and that a certain Spanish teacher and glee club director is her number one client."

"Ok Santana that is just ridiculous," Rachel interrupts. "Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury are in love and Coach Beiste does not transform into a prostitute at night."

"Do you have any proof?"

"Do you?"

"Oh I heard that glee club's diva number two broke up with her bf to be with a crispy, golden brown treat and that they are engaged to be married," Brittany adds.

"I heard that she was caught shoving tots up her-"

"Santana!"

"Quinn, do you have any juicy gossip to share with us?"

"Mmmm hffbg gdrrr."

"Ok, since Quinn's mouth is full of bacon strips, we are going to move on to our next item for this evening. Santana?"

"Ok this game will test how well you know your partner. I'm going to give each of you two sheets of paper. On one of them you are to write down five things that you like and on the other, you'll write five things you think your partner likes. The couple with the most correct matches wins."

"That isn't fair! I don't know anything about Ms. Quinn Fabray but that she likes bacon!" Rachel argues.

"That's the spirit Rachel. So let's begin! Santana set the timer to ten minutes."

"Alright. Oh and the winners get to dare the losers to do whatever they want them to do."

"Wait!"

"And start!"

Ten minutes later...

"Ok, I think we had more than enough time, so pencils and papers down! Let's start with Quinn. What are the five things you like?" Brittany begins.

"Well my top five in no specific order are: Bacon, dresses, meaningless tattoos, having big plans and church."

"Seriously Fabray? Those five things are boring as fuck."

"Santana don't be mean. Thank you for sharing those Quinn. Rachel what did you write down for Quinn?"

"I wrote bacon as my first and most confident answer because of the way she kept eyeing the pot. From the cross pendant on her necklace I figured she was religious so I wrote Jesus as my next answer."

"Just list the fucking things Rudolph the big nose reindeer! We don't need an explanation," Santana yells.

"Fine," Rachel huffs. "I wrote ice cream and chocolate for the next two things and nothing else since I barely know her."

"We'll give you a point for Jesus since it's related to the thing that Quinn called earlier, a church is it? Anyway, tell us what you wrote down now Rachel."

"These are my top five things, in order of my most favourite for this week. Even though we were only given an allotted time of ten minutes, it is in my nature to always come prepared. I actually already had a list of my most favourite things in which I carry on my person at all times and-"

"Jesus Fucking Christ Berry! I'll read your answers!"

"Yes, please read them out Santana."

"They are: Rachel Berry, Barbra Streisand, Funny Girl, horses and Kids R' Us."

"Now Quinn what do you have?"

"Animals, ugly sweaters, talking, herself and musicals."

"I'll give you a point for all those answers since they were close enough."

"Nice going Fabray."

"That brings you guys to a total of seven points! Not bad."

"Ok, it's our turn," Santana states. "Britt you go first."

"For my list of things I wrote: Santana, Unicorns, Lord Tubbington, sweet lady kisses and dancing."

"Ok I wrote: Me, Lord T, dancing, sweet lady kisses and ducks."

"Four out of five, awesome! Now it's your turn San."

"I have: Brittany, BreadstiX, sweet lady kisses, Sweet Valley High and scissoring."

"I have: Me, BreadstiX, bling, sweet lady kisses, and Kim Kardashian's sex tape."

"Wait what? Britt what happened to the plan? You were supposed to only get one answer wrong."

"I know but I wanted to spice things up."

"Let me see that paper." Santana takes the paper from Brittany and reads it herself. "Brittany, you got four out of five too."

"I know that Santana but as I said before, I want to make things more interesting."

"So you guys were going to cheat?"

"That was the plan Rachel but plans are meant to be broken. Right Quinn?"

" Um yea, right. So since it's a tie that means no one gets to dare anybody?"

"No Quinn, that means we all get to dare each other."

"Britt are you sure about this?"

"Positive Santana. Stop being such a worry wart and let's get on with the show."

"Whatever."

Brittany turns to Rachel and Quinn. "So why don't you guys start first!"

"Well I haven't had anything prepared for this sort of event. Maybe if you gave Quinn and I a few minutes to discuss some ideas over..."

"I dare you guys to flash the camera," Quinn cuts in.

"No. Way."

"Ok."

"Brittany!"

"San, It's a dare, you have to do it."

"No we don't have to do anything!"

"If you guys won't do your dare then we won't do ours." Quinn smiles.

"It won't be so bad," Brittany says to Santana. "It would be just like that time at Puck's party."

Santana folds her arms and crosses her legs. "I'm not doing it."

"Please San? I'll make it up to you with sweet lady kisses and breadsticks."

Santana shakes her head. She is not giving in this time. Not even if Brittany is giving her that adorable pout and those puppy dog eyes. No. Way."Fine, whatever," she gives in and says. She is so whipped.

"Yay! Ok on the count of three...One, Three!"

The girls hoist their blouses over their heads and flashes the camera leaving Rachel flustered and hot.

"Nice." Quinn nods.

"That was fun! Ok now it's our turn! I dare you guys to kiss!"

Rachel's whole face turns red immediately. "Well uh Brittany I'm not sure if I can follow through with that request."

"Why not Kreacher?" Santana scowls.

"Because I have never kissed a girl before and I don't think Quinn is up to it either." Rachel looks over to Quinn for backup but she was too busy, well you know, eating bacon to care.

"We did our dare and now it's time to do yours."

"I can't."

Brittany smiles and straightens her shirt. "If you don't want to find a horse's head in your bed, I suggest you do the dare Rachel."

"What?"

"Let's just get this over with." Quinn grabs the smaller girl and pulls her in for a kiss. They pull apart and Quinn could swear she saw fireworks.

"Um, wow that was um," Rachel stammers.

"Yea," Quinn replies.

"I uh need to use the bathroom," Rachel says as she jumps up from the bed.

"I'll show you where it is."

"Ok, lead the way Ms. Fabray."

They make their way to the bathroom, leaving Brittany and Santana alone.

"Well that was disgusting." Santana yawns.

"While we leave those two to do their business, let's read some viewer mail. Santana?

"It seems like we only have time for three Britt-Britt."

"Aaw, ok let's hear them."

"This is from _WatsUpCup_ and he or she wrote_: Brittany I love your show! Last week's ep on gay sharks was informative and hilarious! I also love your outfits and was wondering if you could tell me where you_ _shop and if you would ever consider going into fashion design_?"

"Well WatsUpCup, the truth is, Lord Tubbington picks out what clothes I wear and my mom does most of my wardrobe shopping. I find elevators confusing and I forget to take off the clothes I've tried on from time to time so I try not to shop alone. No, I have never considered going into fashion design, I'll leave that to my cat. Next question."

"This one is from _SamIam_ and he writes: _Hey Brittany, what's up? It's me Sam from the show. I saw you, Santana and Quinn hanging out the other day at the mall. I tried to call but you pretended like_ _you didn't hear me. Anyways_- Britt?" Santana stops. "Do I really have to finish this shit?"

"No you don't Santana. Move on to the next question."

"Ok the last one is from _LocaMotta_ and it says: _Love, love, love the show Brittany but I feel like it's missing something or someone. I'm rich, hot and talented and I think I'll make a perfect edition to Fondue for Two. Why don't you give me a call and we'll talk_."

"Thanks for the suggestion LocaMotta**, **but I have all the help I need now that my Sanny Bear jumped on board. So you can just chug your little choo-choo train-wreck someplace else, because if you think you can, think again."

"Well said Britt-Britt."

" Thanks San. Well it looks like that's all the time we have for today. Let's thank our very special guests Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry for stopping by."

Quinn and Rachel re-enter the bedroom fixing their clothes, their faces flushed and their lips swollen.

Brittany continues, "And be sure to tune in next week where we'll be discussing ways to use a curling iron in a bathtub over our ever popular chocolate fondue!"

"Brittany if I may, I would like to close the show with a number by one of my all time favourite performers, Celine Dion."

"Sure."

"Really?"

"No."

_Fondue for Two!_

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><p><em><strong>Review and tell me what you think! My existence depends on it..no biggy ^-^.<strong>_

_**Oh and for the record, I really do love Sam.**  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

**_Our Favourite couples are back again on another episode of Fondue for Two!_**

**A/N: I did this because I can and also for You. Enjoy.  
><strong>

** I still own nothing.**

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><p>*<em>Fondue for Two! Fondue for Two! That's some hot dish! Fondue for Two!*<em>

"Hey guys, Brittany Bicorn Pierce here and welcome to another episode of Fondue for Two. Since everyone loved the Fondue for Two Bacon Special with Quinn and Rachel, I've invited them back on the show."

"Glad to be back Brittany." Quinn smiles.

"Yes, It's a pleasure to come on this quaint show by my own free will this time," Rachel explains, smiling to the camera.

"Sweet! And you guys already know my Sanny Bear."

"And also head bitch in charge."

"That you are. So, as you all may or may not have realized, this is not my bedroom but what looks like a cheap motel room. That's because it is. San, Quinn, Rachel and I are on a road trip! Our high school days are almost over and it's time to start thinking about our future and where we want to be in the next ten years."

"I know what you'll be Britt," Santana says. "My smoking hot wife and probably president."

"Aaw thanks San. And you'll be my baby momma."

Quinn raises one eyebrow and points at Santana. "Santana aka 'I'll cut a bitch' has agreed to carry your children, Brittany?" she smirks.

"Nothing has been decided yet Fabray."

"Yes we have. We've already discussed this San. You said that you don't mind making your tummy a temporary home for our five kids."

"Five kids!" Quinn snickers in the background.

"Shut it Fabray!"

"Anyway, we've been checking out some colleges and really getting serious about our territory education."

"It's tertiary Brittany," Rachel corrects.

"Is that French?"

"No you said territory when the word is tertiary meaning the third stage of education." The room goes silent and Rachel feels slightly uncomfortable as all eyes are fixed on her. "Um.."

"So Quinn!" Brittany smiles. "What do we have in store for our lovely viewers this evening?"

"Well-"

"Wait!" Rachel cuts in. "Brittany I thought I was doing that! I have been practising all morning!"

"Rachel, let me remind you of the 300 word limit you were given. You should use them wisely."

"I know that but.."

"You're down to 247 now Berry, you better watch it."

Rachel closes her mouth and sits back in her chair.

"So Quinn, tell us!" Brittany ushers her on.

"Today we have an actual college student stopping by to give us a little insight on college life. Then we'll play a tiny game and end it off with some viewer mail."

"Great! So since we're not at home, we don't have a fondue but what we do have, as you can see, are some tacos and juice that we put in this tequila bottle. This is not tequila in any way, shape or form."

"Definitely not alcohol or anything that might intoxicate us," Santana assures.

"Before our guest arrives, how about we give you a little update on our lives!" Brittany continues. "San and I are still in love and going strong. We're planning on going to the same college but if we don't.."

"We will Britt. I'll make sure of it."

"How will you do that Santana?" Rachel asks.

"Don't worry your pretty big nose, Big Nose."

"I believe you San." Brittany smiles. "In other news, Quinn and Rachel are officially a couple! Since the show, they've gone out on a few dates and have been inseparable. Why don't you guys tell us about your date last week?"

"Dinner and a movie," Quinn states. She has a very special bacon taco in her hands and has no time to talk.

"Lame." Santana yawns.

"We had a romantic candle lit dinner at Quinn's house," Rachel begins.

"That's totally bad for your eyes," Brittany says to the camera.

"Then we took some snacks and a blanket to the lake and had a small picnic under the stars."

"And you guys didn't get attacked by ants or flying baby vampires?"

"No, I'm always prepared. Then we went back to my place and watched a movie while snuggled up under my two person Snuggy. It was wonderful."

"Sounded awful," Santana grimaces. "Quinn did you get some? I bet it sucked ass."

"Don't answer that Quinn!"

"Rachel, you're down to 182 now," Brittany informs.

"To answer your question Santana, no, we did not have sex."

"Is it because you'll puke if you see her naked?"

"Does Brittany puke when she sees you?"

"Brittany drools then jumps me."

"It's true."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Rachel and I are waiting for the right time."

"Cut the crap Quinn. You asked her and she said no."

"Precisely." Quinn takes a bite of her strictly bacon taco.

"I knew it!" Santana laughs.

"San do you remember our first time?"

"Of course I do Britt-Britt."

"You were so terrified and you kept apologizing over and over and over again."

"Yea Britt, I told you I remember. No need for the flashback."

Quinn could see that Santana was getting uncomfortable."Why was she apologizing so much Brittany?"

"It's none of your damn business Lucy."

"Please don't call me that."

"Whenever I moaned, she thought that she was hurting me. Then she cried afterwards."

Quinn is literally on the floor now, she has never laughed this much in her life. "Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard!" she says as she wipes the tears of mirth from her eyes.

Santana folds her arms and scowls. "Yea yea laugh it up. I wasn't born a sex goddess like everybody thinks. I know my way around that little rosebud now though." She smirks and winks at Brittany.

"Definitely."

Quinn is still laughing while Rachel looks on at the scene before her. She wants to join in but is too afraid of Santana's wrath to even giggle. She just looks on and smiles.

"What are you smiling at, Elmo?"

"Nothing!" Rachel quickly responds.

Santana opens her mouth to say something but then there's a knock on the door.

"That must be our special guest! Santana go open the door just in case it's not."

Santana goes to open the door to reveal their guest.

"Everybody please welcome Jesse St. James to the show!"

Jesse enters and his eyes land directly on Rachel. "It's good to see you again Rachel."

Rachel blushes and smiles shyly. Quinn watches their interaction but remains silent.

"We met Jesse at this frat party we went to last night. It was pretty wild and he and Rachel even did a duet together which nobody really cared for. I asked him to come on the show and he agreed," Brittany explains.

"It's an honour to be here Brittany. I would never miss an opportunity to be in the presence of someone so talented as I am."

Santana rolls her eyes. "Yea yea whatever, Pleather. We brought you on here to tell us about college life so get to it."

"It's not all that really. I majored in show choir..."

"Wait, major**ed**? As in you're not anymore?" Rachel asks.

Jesse nods. "How was I suppose to know I was to show up at those other classes at school?"

"So you flunked out of college?"

"Yea, I just assumed it would be like my old school and they'd have some Asian kid to take my other electives."

"That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard," Santana says.

"Not to worry though, I have it all planned out."

"Oh really?" Quinn asks, raising one eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm going to open a dance studio for show choirs and.."

"Ok Jesse stop," Brittany interrupts. "The only plans I want to hear about are Quinn's, which still remains a mystery to me. You also look like my Spanish teacher's long lost son and it's scaring me."

"I bet Rachel thinks otherwise." He looks to Rachel. "Rachel, you do want to hear about my plans right?"

"Jesse I'll have you to know that I'm in a committed relationship with Quinn and her plans."

"Hmm. Well it looks like the only plan Quinn has is to scarf down those bacon tacos."

Quinn stops eating, gets up and makes her way over to Jesse. "What did you just say?"

"I said-"

Before Jesse finishes, he gets slapped..hard.

"Yea, I thought you said nothing." Quinn turns around and goes back to sit.

The room is once again dead silent. Rachel's mouth is on the floor, Brittany is thinking of unicorns and Santana is... impressed.

"That was mediocre at best," Jesse says, breaking the silence. "You need to put a little more life in your slaps Quinn."

"Jesse , I think it's time for you to get the fuck out," Santana tells him.

"Fair enough. Rachel it was nice seeing you again. I hope that someday you will realize that my plans are bigger and better than Quinn's." Jesse says as he leaves.

"Well that was interesting," Brittany lies. "Next on the agenda is a drinking game I like to play called, Never Have I Ever. Rachel you're down to 151 now but we'll take the word limit off just for the game."

"Why thank you Brittany, I-"

"The game hasn't started yet so you're down to 146. Santana please tell us how the game goes."

"We go around the room and each person tells us something they have never done. Those who have done it, must take a shot of tequila..I mean juice. We're going to go three rounds and the person who takes the most shots loses and has to buy us all breakfast."

"Ok let's begin!" Brittany states. "I'll go first. Never have I ever... gotten pregnant."

Quinn takes a shot to everyone's surprise.

"Quinn, you have a baby!" Rachel asks, flabbergasted by this revelation.

"No, I gave it up for adoption."

"How come you never told me this?"

"I don't like to talk about it and sometimes I forget. I would've told you eventually though."

"I'm sorry Quinn, I didn't know," Brittany apologizes.

"It's ok Brittany."

"Moving on. I think it's my turn," Santana says. "Never have I ever liked Rachel Berry."

Brittany, Rachel and Quinn all take a shot.

"I thought you said this wasn't alcohol Brittany!" Rachel coughs, the liquid burning her throat.

"Shut up Berry and suck on your lemon."

"It's your turn now Quinn," Brittany continues.

"ok, never have I ever had a threesome."

Brittany and Santana take a shot.

"That night was crazy."

"I know."

"I believe it's my turn now," Rachel announces. "Never have I ever gotten arrested."

Nobody takes a shot. Quinn and Rachel turn to Santana. A bit puzzled as to why she hasn't taken one.

"What? Just because I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent you automatically assume that I've been arrested? That's low," Santana says, shaking her head.

Brittany gently rubs the small of her girlfriend's back. "Don't worry San. They don't know any better."

"Bitches. I never get caught," Santana grumbles.

"So that's the end of round two. We have a tie between Quinn and I with two shots. Let's move on to the second round where the shots are even bigger!"

"I'll go first," Quinn begins. "Never have I ever skinny dipped."

Santana and Brittany take their shots.

"You're missing out Fabray," Santana states. "Never have I ever worn the same outfit twice."

Only Rachel drinks.

"My turn!" Brittany informs. "Never have I ever broken a baby chicken's house."

Rachel, Quinn and Santana drink.

"Is it getting hot in here or what?" Rachel slurs and snuggles up closer to Quinn.

"I agree," Brittany replies and takes her top shirt off. "It's your turn now Rachel."

"Ok," she laughs. "Never have I ever um..skipped school!"

Brittany, Santana and Quinn take their shots.

"Woo! so round two is over and it's time for the third round! Quinn, San and I are tied with four shots. Who will be the loser? Let's find out in this final round where the shots are at their biggest!" Brittany takes her other shirt off.

"I'll start!" Rachel grins. "Never have I ever had sex!"

Everyone takes their shots.

"But I want to lose my virginity tonight!" she exclaims. "To all of you!"

"Ok Rach, I think the juice is getting to your head," Quinn replies.

"I love you Quinnie the Pooh! You're so pretty and smart and you smell awesome! You smell like Pink!"

"Quinn you better control your woman," Santana giggles. "I only have sex with humans."

Quinn glares at Santana."I'm so sick of you insulting my girlfriend Santana!" she yells, her anger clearly rising. "Rachel is beautiful and at least she doesn't have to stuff her boobs with silicone to feel good about herself!"

Santana's eyes go wide. "Brittany! I can't believe you told her about my summer surgery!" she argues on the brink of tears.

"It just slipped out. I'm so sorry San." Brittany goes to hug her but Santana pushes her off.

"Don't touch me!" Santana runs to the bathroom and locks herself in.

"Um how about we take a short commercial break?" Brittany says, forcing a smile at the camera.

"Make love to me Quinn...I'll do anything for you!" Rachel hiccups, now straddling her girlfriend.

Brittany goes to turn off the camera. "I think we should get sobered up first before we continue. I'll go get Santana and you two help me find my clothes." Brittany is now in her underwear and has no idea when that happened.

Thirty minutes, a gallon of water and some sweet lady kisses later, Brittany turns the camera back on.

"Sorry guys for that. We really got out of control there but we are back and doing just fine. Right guys?" Brittany asks but no one answers. "Right guys?" she repeats.

"Yea, whatever," Santana grumbles.

"Just fine," Quinn responds.

"Good. Rachel has fallen asleep which is a good thing since she has used up the 300 words she was given and we have decided to call off our little drinking game. So now it's time for some viewer mail. Santana?"

"Ok, this is from _IHuggedAGirl _and it says: _Hi Brittany, I'm obsessed with your show and was just wondering what you got Santana for Christmas and vice-versa?_"

"Good question IHuggedAGirl and nice name! What I got San for Christmas were these coupons that were good for one thing like a kiss or a cookie."

"I especially liked the 'Bath time with Brittany' coupon and the 'Good for one Lap Dance' ones."

"Do you still have anymore?"

"A few that I'm saving up for a rainy day."

"Cool. I also got her a pair of shoes that she really wanted and a new charm for her charm bracelet."

"I loved all of them Britt-Britt." Santana smiles. "What I got for my woman were some bling, sexy lingerie, the Barbie Glam Vacation House and another very special toy."

"Best Christmas ever."

"It was. Next question Britt. This one is actually about Quinn. It's from _FondueLover95 _and it says: _Hi Brittany and Santana, you guys rock. My question is about your friend Quinn and her obsession with bacon. I think it's weird. Doesn't she get tired of eating it?"_

"Quinn do you want to answer this one?"

"Sure Brittany. No, I could never get tired of eating bacon, FondueLover95. Now my question to you is, do you ever get tired of breathing?"

"Well there you have it. Next Question Santana."

"This one is from _DancinNinja_ and it says: _Dear Brittany, I'm graduating High School this year and going off to college, leaving my girlfriend of almost two years behind. Should we end things or try to have a long distance relationship?"_

"I think you should try the long distance relationship first and see how that goes. If you guys really love each other then you should make it work somehow and be willing to wait until forever for that person."

"Good advice Britt. I also think with enough phone sex and naked webcam sessions, it would be like you were never really gone and the wait won't feel as long."

"Totally. Alright, one more question."

"Ok this one is from _RosesAreBlue_: _Hey Brittany, I'm helping my cat find love and I think Lord Tubbington would make the perfect match for her. If you're up for it, why don't we schedule a play date for the two of them?"_

"That sounds awesome RosesAreBlue but I don't think my Tubbykins is up for it as yet. You see, he was married to my other cat, Charity, and she was everything to him. One day, while making love under the dining table, Lord Tubbington got a little carried away and crushed Charity beneath him. Since then, he started smoking and swore to never love another feline again. He goes to therapy now and is on the road to recovery but he's still not 100%."

"It's been a hard road for him," Santana adds.

"Yea, for all of us." Brittany sighs. "So that brings us to the end of this week's episode. We had lots of fun with Quinn and Rachel and we.." Brittany stops and runs to the bathroom.

"Britt! Are you-" Santana stops and throws up all over the floor.

"Ew! Santana!" Quinn screams. "This is so disgusting!"

Brittany pokes her head out of the bathroom. "Quinn!"

"What?"

"Turn the camera to me."

"But there's puke everywhere."

"Just do it."

Quinn does what she's told and turns the camera to Brittany.

"Ok um, that's it for the show. Everybody drink responsibly!"

_*Fondue for Two!*_


End file.
